I have been single for the entirety of my life, for eighteen long years, thanks to the most boring-ass reasons imaginable. I’m incredibly socially anxious, meaning I panic in just about every social situation involving even one person I find mildly intimidating. To tell the truth, I find everyone intimidating. But especially men. Because I’ve never had a truly good male presence in my life that hasn’t let me down hard in some way or another (did I mention I’m also stupidly oversensitive?) and I never feel up to the task of putting myself out on another really narrow limb to just have it break beneath me again.
So basically, I have gigantic trust issues, an aggressively dominant fear of most people, a downright hemophilic emotional disposition, and a list of insecurities has long as the Cambodian alphabet.
I haven’t yet figured out a way to truly love myself. So why should anyone else?
Submitted by beee33
Kinda sad to end 2011 w/ this, but this is me in a nut shell…though there are other reasons why i am single, ie, figuring out what I want in my life, priorities that don’t include a bf.
Still, 2012 will hopefully about finding that i can be lovable.
